Bad Scenario
So you’re at this party. Your favorite song is on. You see a girl eyeing you. You figure you’ll give it a shot. You move towards her with a kissy face and she’s still staring directly at you. You get behind her and begin to “grind”. She doesn’t seem to be that into it but you figure that she’s just playing hard to get. In order to increase the intensity of the dance you begin to “grind” a bit harder. At this point she really doesn’t seem too interested. You scream in her ear if she wants to dance but she basically ignores you to talk to a hotter guy. To get her attention to tell her to dance you grab her ass… bad idea there, son. She slaps you and you are knocked out by the guy she was talking to; probably her boyfriend. You later find out that she was staring at you because of your purple tie-die button-down and your camouflage jumpsuit pants. If this has even remotely happened to you before you can consider yourself an EPICLY AWFUL dancer.
Analysis
Analysis of the previous situation reveals a TON of mistakes. The first correctable mistake being the attire you chose to attend the party in. Unless this party was a Halloween or Euro-Rave theme there is no place in society for tie-die and camo-jumpsuit pants. The second was the fact that you made a move on a girl who simply “eye-****ed” you. Make sure there is eye contact AND a smile during the eye lock. Another fault was the approach. No-one in their right mind wants to dance with a random that’s making a kissy face unless they’re really that desperate. If a girl isn’t interested in dancing before you both really get into it, move on there a plenty of other women at the party. Never dry-hump a girl’s leg in order to prove yourself as an “Alpha-male” and to make yourself seem like a good dancer. Never yell in a girl’s ear over the volume of the music because it’s just annoying and unwanted sound. Also you never want to “grab ass” to get attention a simple tap on the shoulder will suffice. Most importantly; MAKE SURE THE GIRL YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH IS SINGLE!!!
Correction of Mistakes and Faults
Clothes
OK, you’re attending a party. Sometimes shorts are acceptable on hotter days, but at Virginia Tech those hot days are rare, so I would most often recommend jeans. Wear nice clean sneakers. No one wants to have to clean up after you track muddy footprints all over their apartment. Shirts are the most broad and flexible clothing item that a guy can work with. Guy can go from wearing funny T-Shirts all the way to button-downs. Guy should just avoid clothes that would make them seem threatening. That category includes the following, shirts depicting death and violence, shirts depicting explicit sexual activities, trench coats, all-black, army boots and paraphernalia, and only underwear.
Telling if they’re interested
This is probably the toughest of all the steps in the “Getting a Girl to Dance” process because it is often the easiest step to find misleading signs in. The 2 most important signs are non-threatening eye contact and a welcoming smile. Usually these two signs are the most common and most reliable. However, a man should never feel bad if the girl he’s interested in points towards him to motion him over.
Approaching Your “Target”
When you are making a move towards the girl that you want to dance with always approach her with a warm welcoming smile. Don’t make any weird or inappropriate faces because she might see you as a douche looking to get some, instead of a person who’s simply looking to dance.
The Actual Dancing
Dancing is a very broad subject with many styles that define it. Most often dancing at parties and clubs is a style of grinding; where the man usual is behind his female dance partner usually creating friction “down there”. He can either hold her hands or hips while grinding away. Grinding mostly occurs during rap or hip-hop music scenes. Grinding can also be hard or soft pending on who’s dancing, but just make sure you’re on the same page or things might get awkward. There’s also rave dancing; where the men and women have the option of frolicking around to primarily euro-trance techno. Just make sure when you are raving not injure anyone in the process.
Dancing Etiquette
Make sure to be “bearable” while dancing. No one’s expecting you to be the perfect example of a morally stringent person while out on the dance floor, but they do expect you to be tolerable. Never yell in someone’s ear to get their attention or to tell them something that isn’t of dire importance. Also respect the person you’re dancing with. Groping and sexually harassing them is completely unacceptable. I would also recommend making sure the person you’re dancing with is single in order to prevent any dance floor drama from being stirred up.
Hopefully this simple how to will help you in your future endeavors and encounters with the opposite gender at parties where you are “looking to get your freak on out on the dance floor.”
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Garbage College Football Player Rankings
I’ll start off by saying I have a ton a free time. In this free time I dedicate a fair amount to my study of sports and other random athletics. During my study and research of college football athletes I happened to stumble upon a list of college football athletes. (http://www.americasbestonline.com/cfootball100.htm). This was singlehanded one of the worst lists I’ve read in some time. As I was reading I was simply overwhelmed by sheer stupidity in some of the rankings. The problems start at the top of the list. Jim Thorpe is a college football legend, but he isn’t even close to being number one. He was Mr. Football at Carlisle University and for years after. His problem with his resume is that he didn’t set any insane records or have any games where people said, “WHAT THE F!@#”. The man who had these games was the “Galloping Ghost”. Red Grange, also known as “The Galloping Ghost”, was a legend. I’ve seen some ridiculous numbers in my life, in regards to football statistics. His career numbers were rather low in comparison to others in contention for the top spot on the list, but his collegiate football career only lasted 20 games. 20 games on today’s length of schedule are about a season and a half. In these 20 games he ran for 3362 yards and 31 touchdowns, while leading his team to a national championship. This averages out to a career average of 168 yards per game and a touchdown and a half a game. These numbers are not only scary if compared to modern day stats, but he has highlight games that I haven’t even discussed yet. Michigan University has one of the most prestigious college football programs of all time. You might be asking yourself why I even brought up this fact. The Galloping Ghost ran wild on them in 1924. When I say ran wild I mean HE WENT OFF! I’ve yet to see anything even close to the stats he put up. In the first half he scored, not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 touchdowns. 4 touchdowns in a half are very, very impressive, but he did this in the FIRST QUARTER. If any player did this in modern day they’d not only win player of the year but immediately be in contention for player of the year. He was pulled out of the game after the first quarter, ensuing sitting the second quarter. He later returned in the second half to run for another touchdown and throw for a score as well. Averaging 6 total touchdowns a game is enough to break the career scoring record in less than a season. Simply put, The Galloping Ghost dominated when he played, more so than any other player, and therefore he’s the greatest college football player of all time. Another player who is too low at spot 39 is Charles Woodson. He is the only player to ever win the Heisman Trophy without playing significant time on the offensive side of the ball. He contributed all his work on either special teams or defense. He led the nation in non-offensive touchdowns. Finally the last problem with this list is its lack of Virginia Tech alums, particularly a certain dogfighter, along with considerably the best defensive end to ever play the game. Bruce Smith, Virginia Tech class of 1985, was a defensive end. In his tenure at Virginia Tech he had 46 sacks and 22 in his junior year alone. He was awarded consensus first-team All-American status by the Associated Press. In 1984, Smith won the Outland Trophy; cementing his status as the best lineman of the year (offensive or defensive) at the time. He was also the first overall pick of the NFL draft in the following year, where he led a distinguished Hall of Fame career in the pros. The dogfighter previously referred to earlier in the rant was obviously Michael Vick. Vick is often called the BEST running quarterback of all-time. His ability with his feet would not only change a defensive coordinator’s schemes but it would rewrite the personnel that the defense would send out onto the field. They had to put the fastest players out on the field to not defend, but contain the RUNNING ability of a throwing proficient player. This intense planning would often be futile when assaulted with the sheer incredible athleticism of Michael Vick. In Michael’s freshman year at Virginia Tech, he was redshirted. A redshirt grants a player a year of academic eligibility, but restricts athletic ability. Michael sat on the sideline for his first year at Tech. However, his collegiate inexperience would not hinder his ability to dice defenses at his will. Mike Vick stormed into the National Spotlight as the “unstoppable quarterback”. In his first game he scored 3 rushing touchdowns in about a quarter and a half. He led Virginia Tech to an 11-0 record and into the national championship game against Florida State. Although Virginia Tech lost the game Vick’s numbers were impressive. Vick went on to place third in the Heisman Voting behind Ron Dayne, who is also on the list of the 100 top players. Vick was featured as the cover athlete on a Sports Illustrated magazine, won the ESPY award for the nation’s top college football player, and won the first ever Archie Griffin award (National College Football MVP). Vick only stayed another year at Virginia Tech before deciding to go pro. He was drafted first overall by the Atlanta Falcons. By being drafted as the number one overall player, Vick became the first black quarterback to do so. His troubles with the law later ensued, but the list includes O.J. Simpson, and as we all know he had his own troubles as well. Vicks stats at Virginia Tech were not all that impressive, but Kirk Herbstreit, an ESPN college football analyst, stated he would elect to put Vick on his all-time team. His stats are not to be focused on, but rather his ability to change any game at any point in time. He reinvented the quarterback position, for players to come in the near future, for example Vince Young. He is a legend amongst college football quarterbacks in terms of leadership and athleticism and rightfully deserves to occupy a spot on the list of the Top 100 College Football Players of All-Time.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Time-Killers and The Benefits of Having Them
Ways to Kill Time in College
Caution: Students with ambition and goals beware; reading of the article could damage work ethic.
College is a time for students to grow in both character and intelligence, but what happens when a student is either too tired to learn or simply “learned out” for the day. This is where he/she uses the ability to kill time to his/her advantage. Despite the fact that classes may be hard, everyone needs time to unwind and relax and killing time is the best way to do so.
The most common way that I have killed time to this point in the semester is to find a group of friends and to hang out with them. Having friends that have similar interests as me has made life on Virginia Tech’s campus exponentially easier and more fun. Whether it’s playing NCAA Football 2010 on the Xbox, or hanging out watching Transformers, some of the best times that I’ve had on campus have been with my friends. In the category of finding friends I suggest you find a clique and expand from there. I knew very few people entering Virginia Tech, being that I was from New Jersey, but I met some people when I got down here and through social networking I was introduced to a fraternity. I rushed the fraternity and was given a bid, which I quickly accepted. I was now friends with both the people I met back on campus and people in the fraternity. By finding a clique, gaining a larger social network becomes possible, and therefore the possibility to kill more time is present.
However, chilling with friends is very broad and therefore should be used to kill time while doing other activities. One of such previously activities was video games. Video games can chew through entire days, maybe even weeks if you find a good game. Some recent games have taken bites out of my schedule. NCAA Football 2010 has taken a lot of my time of late, simply because I wish to create an alternate reality in the video game where Virginia Tech is an unbeatable, unstoppable, and formidable collegiate dynasty. I also play a lot of FIFA 2010 which is simply a good game to play with my bros because of its exciting party sports genre. My game that I play at the fraternity house with fraternity friends is Rock Band, which I highly recommend for anyone looking to pick up playing a fake instrument. It is the best party game and is extremely fun when playing with a group of people. There are also other games which I don’t play such as World of Warcraft and Halo that are huge reasons why people can’t get work done on time.
Aside from video games, movies and television shows are also effective time killers. Popular television shows for young adults have been shown to be SportsCenter, Gossip Girl, Melrose Place, Friday Night Lights, and Greek. Although it has been known to be difficult for college students to keep up with the live showings of their favorite shows, technology has helped this problem. HULU.com is an internet site, completely legal, that allows people to watch previous episodes of their favorite shows that they may have missed or want to watch again. I have used this resource often this semester, most commonly to catch up on Greek. Instead of spending a ton of money on seasons on DVD (money which is often unavailable to college students) student should visit HULU, to save a few bucks and kill some precious time as well.
Listening to and playing music is a great way to pass the time. Music is both an outlet for emotional expression and a way to do/listen to something when there is nothing else to do. Music choices for people often depend upon a person’s background. Though, for me, I listen to a music genre and artist which appeals to my current mood. If I’m down I might go more along the lines of Coheed and Cambria, and other emo bands. If I’m upbeat and feeling good I might go with rock bands that play music about living life to its fullest. A perfect example is Poison and their song “Nothin’ but a Good Time”. When I just feel like chilling I listen to some deep hip-hop and rap beats. I recommend music to anyone looking for a way to kill time while walking to class or riding the bus to the Math Emporium. Aside from just listening to music, playing an instrument is also a great way chew up time. A couple of the more popular instruments for college students are guitars and harmonicas. Harmonicas are growing in popularity amongst students for primarily two reasons. One reason being that the harmonica is so small and portable that people can basically bring it anywhere with being over-encumbered. The guitar is popular because of its easy ability to pick up and play but also because of the amount of time it takes to master. Word on the street is that the ability to play an instrument is seen as attractive in the opposite genders eyes… so if you’re single but looking for a partner maybe it’s time to get playing.
Moving on to boyfriends and girlfriends; they are the most time consuming nonacademic factors in a college student’s life. BF and GF take tons of time and commitment. Whether it is walking to class together, or taking a significant other out to lunch or dinner, couples spend a ridiculous amount of time together. If you often find yourself looking for something to do, look into finding a BF/GF because all that precious free time you once had will go out the window in a hurry.
Sports and physical activity is a great way to get both physically fit and spend some time in a positive manner. Unlike most of the time killing strategies discussed, this approach has the best overall outcome in the long run. Working out can put you in a positive state of mind and help you get fit. Sports do the same thing as working out except for that fact that it is not as schedule flexible. Sports also help social networking related back to the friends’ aspect of killing time. Both sports and working out can both help you get in shape and eat up time.
The final way to kill time is definitely the least advised way to do so. You have the option to kill time by doing recreational drugs… but it’s not a good idea. Reasons against it include, possible loss of friends, failing out of school, running into trouble with the cops, possible arrest, and possible addiction. I strongly disapprove of the use of recreational drugs as time killers.
Overall remember the following ways to kill time and you’ll never find yourself wondering what to do at any point in time.
• Video Games
• Friends
• Television
• Movies
• Listening to Music
• Playing an Instrument
• Having a Boy/Girlfriend
• Sports and Physical Activity
• Recreational Drugs***
***Probable negative effects
Caution: Students with ambition and goals beware; reading of the article could damage work ethic.
College is a time for students to grow in both character and intelligence, but what happens when a student is either too tired to learn or simply “learned out” for the day. This is where he/she uses the ability to kill time to his/her advantage. Despite the fact that classes may be hard, everyone needs time to unwind and relax and killing time is the best way to do so.
The most common way that I have killed time to this point in the semester is to find a group of friends and to hang out with them. Having friends that have similar interests as me has made life on Virginia Tech’s campus exponentially easier and more fun. Whether it’s playing NCAA Football 2010 on the Xbox, or hanging out watching Transformers, some of the best times that I’ve had on campus have been with my friends. In the category of finding friends I suggest you find a clique and expand from there. I knew very few people entering Virginia Tech, being that I was from New Jersey, but I met some people when I got down here and through social networking I was introduced to a fraternity. I rushed the fraternity and was given a bid, which I quickly accepted. I was now friends with both the people I met back on campus and people in the fraternity. By finding a clique, gaining a larger social network becomes possible, and therefore the possibility to kill more time is present.
However, chilling with friends is very broad and therefore should be used to kill time while doing other activities. One of such previously activities was video games. Video games can chew through entire days, maybe even weeks if you find a good game. Some recent games have taken bites out of my schedule. NCAA Football 2010 has taken a lot of my time of late, simply because I wish to create an alternate reality in the video game where Virginia Tech is an unbeatable, unstoppable, and formidable collegiate dynasty. I also play a lot of FIFA 2010 which is simply a good game to play with my bros because of its exciting party sports genre. My game that I play at the fraternity house with fraternity friends is Rock Band, which I highly recommend for anyone looking to pick up playing a fake instrument. It is the best party game and is extremely fun when playing with a group of people. There are also other games which I don’t play such as World of Warcraft and Halo that are huge reasons why people can’t get work done on time.
Aside from video games, movies and television shows are also effective time killers. Popular television shows for young adults have been shown to be SportsCenter, Gossip Girl, Melrose Place, Friday Night Lights, and Greek. Although it has been known to be difficult for college students to keep up with the live showings of their favorite shows, technology has helped this problem. HULU.com is an internet site, completely legal, that allows people to watch previous episodes of their favorite shows that they may have missed or want to watch again. I have used this resource often this semester, most commonly to catch up on Greek. Instead of spending a ton of money on seasons on DVD (money which is often unavailable to college students) student should visit HULU, to save a few bucks and kill some precious time as well.
Listening to and playing music is a great way to pass the time. Music is both an outlet for emotional expression and a way to do/listen to something when there is nothing else to do. Music choices for people often depend upon a person’s background. Though, for me, I listen to a music genre and artist which appeals to my current mood. If I’m down I might go more along the lines of Coheed and Cambria, and other emo bands. If I’m upbeat and feeling good I might go with rock bands that play music about living life to its fullest. A perfect example is Poison and their song “Nothin’ but a Good Time”. When I just feel like chilling I listen to some deep hip-hop and rap beats. I recommend music to anyone looking for a way to kill time while walking to class or riding the bus to the Math Emporium. Aside from just listening to music, playing an instrument is also a great way chew up time. A couple of the more popular instruments for college students are guitars and harmonicas. Harmonicas are growing in popularity amongst students for primarily two reasons. One reason being that the harmonica is so small and portable that people can basically bring it anywhere with being over-encumbered. The guitar is popular because of its easy ability to pick up and play but also because of the amount of time it takes to master. Word on the street is that the ability to play an instrument is seen as attractive in the opposite genders eyes… so if you’re single but looking for a partner maybe it’s time to get playing.
Moving on to boyfriends and girlfriends; they are the most time consuming nonacademic factors in a college student’s life. BF and GF take tons of time and commitment. Whether it is walking to class together, or taking a significant other out to lunch or dinner, couples spend a ridiculous amount of time together. If you often find yourself looking for something to do, look into finding a BF/GF because all that precious free time you once had will go out the window in a hurry.
Sports and physical activity is a great way to get both physically fit and spend some time in a positive manner. Unlike most of the time killing strategies discussed, this approach has the best overall outcome in the long run. Working out can put you in a positive state of mind and help you get fit. Sports do the same thing as working out except for that fact that it is not as schedule flexible. Sports also help social networking related back to the friends’ aspect of killing time. Both sports and working out can both help you get in shape and eat up time.
The final way to kill time is definitely the least advised way to do so. You have the option to kill time by doing recreational drugs… but it’s not a good idea. Reasons against it include, possible loss of friends, failing out of school, running into trouble with the cops, possible arrest, and possible addiction. I strongly disapprove of the use of recreational drugs as time killers.
Overall remember the following ways to kill time and you’ll never find yourself wondering what to do at any point in time.
• Video Games
• Friends
• Television
• Movies
• Listening to Music
• Playing an Instrument
• Having a Boy/Girlfriend
• Sports and Physical Activity
• Recreational Drugs***
***Probable negative effects
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