Embarassment, Fear, and Intimidation: How to Handle 'Em

Embarrassing, scary, and intimidating moments run teenagers’ lives. It’s hard to believe that many of these moments define who we are as people today. When we look back on embarrassing events, they are now sometimes funny, scary or just plain stupid. As people grow and experience these moments they gain knowledge on how to handle events similar to those they’ve already been through. I’ll take you through a couple of these events.

First embarrassing events of young peoples’ lives are normally involving parents. As parents get to know a young person’s friends, they feel as if they can start to treat them like their friends too. The more friends that are present in front of a parent doing something stupid the worse the embarrassment is. Have you ever seen the parent address one of your friends as “bro”? Hopefully not because it singlehandedly can make any situation a WEIRD one. Another awful situation is when a parent asks you to if they can get involved in whatever you’re doing. I think sports are the 2nd worst scenario of all. An old man joining a bunch of teens in wiffle-ball is almost the worst situation involving parents and friends. Baby pictures… are singlehandedly the worst thing that a parent can expose to a friend, or worse a group of friends. The last thing you need is a picture of you at age 2 naked in a bath tub… yeah a little bit embarrassing.

Then there are the scary events. Those events that make your hair stand up and your limbs tense up. A fear of the opposite sex is pretty common for young teens. They don’t know what to do with the opposite sex in terms of interaction; whether to play hard-to-get, to be mushy and gushy, or to just be plain flirty many are clueless and therefore SCARED. More scary events involve parents. Picture this:
You stumble home after a party. You discovered Jell-O shots at this party. You also found out you really like Jell-O shots. (Set-up for disaster) You enter the door walk slowly up the stairs to avoid waking up your parents. You undress as your about to enter bed… and then it happens. BLEWH! You just threw up all over your bed… you go over to the trash and again BLEWH! Then you begin to process what the hell is going on. The first is, “Did my parents hear me vomiting.” After a few minutes of no response you conclude the answer to that question to be, “NO.” Then you ask yourself, “How do I get rid of a couple pints of beer and Jell-O shots.” You quickly react stripping your bed, but being sure not to be too loud that you wake your parents. You hustle to the nearest washing machine, throwing whatever has the mess on it into the washer. You make the decision that the washers noise is not enough to wake up your parents.
Notice how in this situation every decision you make is with regard to how you are avoiding your parents. This is because you fear the power that they have over you. You know they can take away your Xbox, your cell phone, your car, or worst your friends. You respect this power by avoiding them whenever you make big mistakes. By the way, the example used was a BIG MISTAKE. The scariest part of young-life in my opinion is death. Death is the end of all ends, of course if you are religious you might believe otherwise. Death is the unknown and because it is so foreign we fear it. Death of loved ones can rattle a person for life and therefore it is possibly the scariest single event that can affect a person in their teens.

The last moments I will discuss are those intimidating events. If your teacher is giving you crap about some report you turned in, you face an instance as native as any. Fight versus Flight is the only thing passing through your mind. You know if you stand up for your belief you could show the teacher that you aren’t messing around with your grade that you received, but you could be disciplined based upon your reaction. You also know if you just sit there and take whatever the teacher is giving you, you’ll look like a wimp in front of your friends and your grade has ZERO percent chance of being changed. Your reaction is based on whether you are successfully intimidated by the teacher. The most frequent intimidation that a young teen will face is involving members of the other sex. As a guy I know that when a pretty lady walks into a room I’m going to have to “man up and grow a pair” to talk to her. If I happen to start a conversation with this girl, I need to seem calm, funny, but most of all COOL. When I’m projecting this image of seeming calm and collected, I’m fretting like crazy on a multitude of things. I’m trying not to sweat too much, fidget, or be too touchy. Next I’m wondering how I look in my clothes, how my hair looks, and whether showing 4 hours ago was a good decision as compared to just throwing on some expensive cologne. My minds flying a thousand miles a minute, but I’m standing there cooler than the other side of the pillow. After I manage to pull together the courage to ask her for a number, I get what I coveted for the past 15 minutes, a 10 digit passage to a great looking woman. I call a day later to ask her to lunch and she accepts. I spend more time than a girl on prom day getting ready. Shower with shampoo and conditioner, body wash, and Q-Tips are only the beginning. I clip not only my fingernails but my toenails as well. I brush my teeth 10 times in the course of 2 hours and when the toothbrush isn’t in my mouth Listerine is. I pick only the finest clothes to wear in front of the woman making sure she knows I mean business. I use enough cologne to have a distinct smell without being overbearing or drowning myself in it. I clean up my car, Lysol the seats maybe even cologne the car if she’s really pretty. The car goes through the nearest carwash getting the most expensive package they offer. I pick her up at her place with loud enough music so that it’s at borderline noise violation level, thinking I’ll look like a badass if she can hear me coming a half a mile away. I again make conversation while under extreme anxiety of the possibilities of what can go wrong. “Will my car break down?” “What if my breath isn’t fresh? Will she be turned off?” “Is my shirt stained?” All these are examples of possible over thinking caused by intimidation. We pull up to a lunch spot not too classy, but not fast-food either. It’s just right. I pay for the meal because I’m a gentleman. She loves the date and thanks me. I walk her to her door. UH-OH! It’s the moment of truth. The atmosphere is quiet and near perfect for what about to go down. “Do I make a move?” I notice her smile but I’m unsure of what will happen as a result. I could either get a girlfriend as a result of a successful attempt, or she could think I’m too fast. I make a move…SCORE! Notice how intimidation can cause tons of over thinking, but a true master of his/her domain can handle the pressure and come out of a situation without.

All these events seriously effect who we are as people. If we are embarrassed often as kids it could cause us to be shy as adults. If we are scared all the time how can we honestly live a fun and exciting life. If we are too intimidated to make changes, how can we meet new people, or spouses for that matter? People must use the events in a constructive manner in order to gain positive experience as a result. Use embarrassing stories as conversation starters or jokes. Build upon your fears by trying to overcome them. Try to avoid intimidation by using past experiences as a guideline on how to handle a scenario.